the requisite lengthy introspective New Year's Post
A couple of weeks ago, a group of teachers camped out for the day in the library (we're crammed to the gills, and have not even one measly little meeting room). One of them asked if I had paper clips, which surprisingly, I do in abundance, considering our complete lack of supply budget. Another teacher quipped "I bet you have your drawers organized by Dewey decimal, right?"

Well. You would think that being both a Virgo and a librarian would make me one of the most organized humans on the planet. I'm afraid this just isn't so. At least, not in the traditional sense of the word. I've got everything I own pretty much cataloged in my head. So I can find it. But in its deep, tippery piles, I'm sure no one else could. And here's a dirty little confession: I'm horribly inept at remembering the layout of the alphanumerical classification systems I've used every day for the past ten years. But I can tell you exactly where a book is on the shelf. It's quite the wonder I like cataloging so well.

I was leading up to something with all of this: my resolutions. Trite and pointless, but thoroughly ingrained. After some thought, I decided my list was really longer and complex than my last Friday Five entry detailed.

* Be organized. Pare down. Make my surroundings lean, clean, and pristine.

* Get healthy again. A few years ago, I was running and hiking nearly every day and x-country skiing the others. I never got sick. I've since slid into that Comfortable Relationship Mentality (aka Fat and Happy). While I don't think I'll be able to get into such an extreme groove again (I wrecked my knees running, and I'm obviously not doing any skiing in the Valley), I can at least walk. I don't think forty-five minutes a day is too much to ask of myself. Add to that a return to a vegetarian and water-laden diet, and I should be in pretty good shape. I'm not kidding myself - I know I probably won't be regaining my old physique without going to the same extremes. I just don't want to shudder when I use the fitting rooms.

* Dig out of debt. I won't tell you how bad it is, but I will say that the thought of it is eating a massive hole in my stomach lining. I want to move on. Maybe even earn my Master's. My current situation just isn't covering it. I'm not unhappy I left my old job to move to California, but I took a 50% cut in pay to do it. Well, it all ends in 2002. This is more than a resolution - it's a promise.

* Get a social life. I'm becoming bored and boring. And no one wants that.

* And, related: go out and do stuff. Take advantage of this amazing state. See the ocean again. Raft down a river. Hug a giant tree.

I guess those are the biggies.

I can't believe we've been in California for exactly a year and a half. I should sum that up, since I haven't really sat down and taken stock. A sort of State of the Union address.

Winter here is awesome. I've felt only the tiniest twinges for snow, and those pass within a matter of seconds. I still get the blues during the rainiest bits, but nothing like that consuming Midwestern seasonal depression. Nothing five minutes in a fake n' bake wouldn't cure. Summer is taking some getting used to. It's blazing. But at least not humid. I feel fairly safe here in this almost weatherless pocket. The fault lines ring us at a respectable distance, though I still habitually scan the Recent Earthquake Map.

I love Sacramento. It's just the right size, is full of generally nice people, and has nearly everything we need. It lacks a few of the notable recreations and conveniences that we loved about Detroit: interesting night clubs, stylish billiards halls, round-the-clock shopping, and friendly next-door neighbors. Nothing that couldn't be found nearby if we were motivated enough, I think.

Places I've always wanted to visit, and should, soon, now that I'm within a more reasonable distance: Yosemite, Disneyland, Hollywood, Santa Cruz, Reno/Tahoe, Sequoia National Forest. I hope to knock a couple off the list this year.

Of course I miss my friends and family. Since I've recently overcome the unknown-ness of flying, it shouldn't be such a big deal in the future. Cost is prohibitive, but again, hopefully not for long.

So generally, all is well here in California. I wouldn't change my decision to move if I could.

I've a pervasive feeling of optimism about 2002. That's kind of a new thing for me. But I think I've got a lot to look forward to: my little wedding (woo!). The possibility of a house (woo woo!) and all the things that go along with that, like a dog, and spaces to build, grow, paint, and host. A Super Secret collaborative project with D.

I hope you have a great year, too :-)
12/31/2001 02:00:07 PM  



romance of the rails
I'm in love with the thought of taking a trip aboard the Coast Starlight. Touted (albeit by Amtrak itself) as "one of the finest trains ever to grace the American rail system," it sounds like the perfect way to get to Seattle to do some visiting.

More links:
Photos on Trainweb
A recent review
The onboard magazine (?)
360° views of the cars
Pre-order a video, or purchase this one detailing the life of Starlight crew members

12/29/2001 11:07:01 AM  



holiday movie seen
We saw The Royal Tenenbaums last night. It's been so long since I've seen a film that was quite that good (can I even think of one, offhand?), carried by plot and script and brilliant casting, and not at all by CGI or cheap humor or impressive scenery. I think the rest of the packed auditorium (it's only showing on three screens in town this weekend, that won't last long) was similarly surprised, as there was a smattering of hoots and applause when the credits rolled, which didn't even happen at HP or LotR, at all. And phrases like "I can't believe how good that was" and "cult classic" on the way out.

This one is for my DVD collection, oh yes, it is.
12/29/2001 09:43:59 AM  



ringing in the new year
Two sparkly shots in the visiblog
12/28/2001 05:56:38 PM  



new year's edition
of the friday five
1. What was your biggest accomplishment this year? Being far from satisfied with my job situation, and, as my potential public work-places are now severely underfunded thanks to The Economic Downturn, not able to do much about it, but still managing to keep a relatively cheerful face on it.

2. What was your biggest disappointment? I guess that would be when the District finally did a reclassification, in which I was upgraded rather handsomely for experience and education... only to most likely have it taken away two months later because the District somehow managed to mysteriously "lose" a few million dollars. They're taking "voluntary" wage cutbacks to make up for their mistakes.

3. Will you be making any New Year's resolutions? Just two: get back into the clothes I came here with, and get a new job.

4. Where do you wish you were celebrating? In NYC! which I've never done, but have always wanted to.

5. What do you plan to do for New Year's Eve? Being the typical procrastinators, we can't find tickets for anything exciting. I was truly disappointed when I found out about the parties at Laughs Unlimited and Golden State Museum - too late. So we'll probably go down to Old Sac, get a wee bit tipsy, and watch the fireworks at midnight on the Riverfront. Unless someone has a better idea? :-)
12/28/2001 09:19:10 AM  



christmas clicks
New holiday photos in the visiblog.
12/27/2001 06:15:50 PM  



hooked
I brought this book home with me over the holidays. Yesterday, in a brief "what to do now?" lapse (or after I'd already watched Legally Blonde), I picked it up again. I was so compelled to try it out that I fished a pair of chopsticks out of the kitchen, some thick cording out of my craft bins, and spent the next very quick three hours teaching myself to knit. The result was a tiny, uneven block of about seven rows (but the finishing work was fine, if I do say so myself). With its two trailing tails of cord, it made the perfect cat toy (Merry Christmas!). I've looked everywhere, but can't find it this morning. We're hoping Elmo didn't somehow dismantle and eat it. He's quite the string fiend.

About a week before Christmas, we went to Kmapart to pick up some fuses and weatherstripping. We passed the craft part of the toy section, and my eye spied a potholder loom! For $1.99! This post is what got me all nostalgic-like for one. Of course mine is plastic and leaves a bit to be desired, but still produces the same end result (which is miniscule and not in any way useable, unless joined with others, which is impossible, as they only included enough loops to make one), if you've got enough patience. It was really a suprisingly soothing activity, so I may be picking up a bag of nicer loops (in coordinating colors, because I'm anal that way) at Beverly's today.

When I walk there for needles and yarn.
12/27/2001 09:57:50 AM  



aprés
I really need to work on lowering my expectations for the holidays.

Now, don't get me wrong. We had a perfectly nice Christmas day here. Lots of gifties. Too much food. Nice homey tree and such. A second viewing of "Meet the Parents" on Special Edition DVD. I got the Melitta Mill and Brew, which is wonderful. I'm still trying to get the hang of it, though - having an impossible time getting the coffee muddy enough for my taste. I think D. liked his drum throne; hopefully he'll be able to find people to play with. I've got lots of gift dollars to spend, probably on nice practical things I've been lacking and wanting.

But it's just not the same without the family around (even though I've done my share of complaining - not necessarily in this forum - before). Too quiet. Too much time in front of the computer screens. Not nearly the amount of noise and friction and light and fuss I've become accustomed to over the course of three decades. I've learned to work myself up for it. The baking, the decorating, the stressing over gifts.

Well, what should I expect? you might say. I did, after all, voluntarily move three thousand miles away from home, fully realizing that I wasn't going to be able to fly home at the drop of a hat, and that my family members certainly aren't in any position to, either. And I'm not one of those hyperoutgoing types that will amass hordes of friends quickly, the kind that will adopt you into their own traditions without a second thought. Though I'd hardly feel comfortable in a group of relative unknowns, anyhow, gracing them with my wallflower presence.

Potentially stupid aside question du jour: am I the only one who measures, on some tiny, brain-attic level, my Felt Percentage of Possible Self-Worth (x) based on the following formula?:

100(Number of cards received/Number of cards sent) = x

And I'm so not a gimmegimmegimme girl, which is what makes this little instinct all the more damned insufferable.

Sigh. I didn't want this to turn into a "poor me" post. It's pathetic. And I'm not depressed, by any means. Just slightly post-holiday melancholic.

Repeat the following mantra twenty times, daily: It's just another day. It's just another day. A day with food and gifts, granted, but still just another day. Until you have kids (gulp).

It's a day filled with lingering tradition, perhaps, but of the commercial, Americanized variety. I am decidedly not a Christian (though I have always found candlelight midnight masses in imposing cathedrals thrilling; religious architecture in general is a particular guilty pleasure of mine, Ayn Rand's fervid denunciation of it be damned).

I suppose I should finally take a shower, wash some dishes, play with my machine, and eat some leftovers (anybody up for a ham sandwich?).

(Written at about 1 pm, really...)
12/26/2001 10:43:07 PM  



ready to go
I was up before dawn to do the grocery shopping, and now it's finished. Of course I wasn't the only one with this in mind, so the store was pretty scary anyhow. But I'd truly hate to see it in a couple of hours.

It never fails. Over the course of the year, I always forget how much ham costs. Big time sticker shock.

D.'s bahhumbug company is making him work today. I've got plenty to keep me occupied:

* Make the place all sparkly-like
* Walk up to Blockbuster to grab a couple of DVDs (I've got Legally Blonde in mind, hope it's in). It's an absolutely gorgeous day here, and would be a sin to completely waste it
* Bake these, just for us. I really wanted fresh or frozen cranberries, but had to settle for dry
* Click some pics of our holiday digs before the cats completely destroy the tree

No big Christmas plans, we're keeping it pretty simple. Some cocoa (real, made in a pot, with milk!) and cookies (and popcorn?), maybe, tonight, with a movie? Open gifts in the morning, have a traditional eggs and cherry nut brown bread breakfast. ??? all day. Call my mom, sister. Have a nice, easy dinner of spiral-sliced ham, blue cheese mashed potatoes (made by D., I screwed them up last year), corn, nice rolls, etc., and my all-time favorite white dinner wine.

I hope you all have a splendid holiday.
12/24/2001 09:59:07 AM  



retro sap
TV Land is showing holiday episodes of all your favorite classic sitcoms, all day. With my cuppa, the tree, and one or two lapcats, that makes a perfect lazy Sunday :-)
12/23/2001 11:18:26 AM  



in the home stretch
I'm showered, I've got my highly caffeinated beverage in hand, and soon I'll be dressed and out the door to finish off my shopping (gift shopping, at least - groceries are a whole 'nother story). I figure the earlier I get out there, the less of a headache I'll have when I get back, and so will actually be able to wrap everything without the urge to slit my wrists with my nice Fiskars . My cold has mostly dissipated, but not to the point that I can't produce a nice phlegmy cough for (on) someone if they annoy me enough at the store.
12/22/2001 08:02:06 AM  



ten minutes to drive two blocks
There are disadvantages to living behind a Rather Big Mall during the holidays. Oh yes, there are.
12/21/2001 02:25:05 PM  



doohhhrr
So I was at the "Mini" (the giant copier in the office that's the unfailing source of many a curse and kick), making a pile of Captain Underpants coloring sheets (even the most "jaded" kids still beg to color), when I spied a biology test that had been left there. Cell biology.

And didn't my face turn red when I realized I couldn't answer half the questions.

Sheesh. My degree really is only a sheet of paper!
12/21/2001 11:44:24 AM  



here we go
for another ride on the Friday Five:

1. What is the weirdest thing you've ever eaten? Headcheese. When I worked at a deli in Milwaukee. Don't ask.

2. Name one (material) thing you can't live without. My computer.

3. Name something you've always wanted to do but didn't have time for. A photography class.

4. What outrageous thing do you wish you had the nerve to do? Well, outrageous to me, at least, because it strikes pure terror into my heart - ride a giant rollercoaster.

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend? Finish up the shopping, and then... sleep. God, yes. Sleeeeeep.

12/20/2001 09:20:35 PM  



please, no more news
I just can't imagine how I would have felt if, at the age of twelve, I was told that my young mother had attempted suicide the week before Christmas. At that age, how do you not believe it's somehow your own fault?

This job bruises the heart.
12/20/2001 05:19:00 PM  



the Christmas crud
'twas the week before Christmas
and all through the house
not a creature was stirring
except Jennie, hacking up her lungs.

It rarely fails. I always get sick somewhere around the holidays. It's stress, which my immune system just doesn't handle. At all. Mix in the dampness and the winter malaise, and, voila! the Christmas crud is born. A tradition started back when the holidays marked the end of the semester, and brought about final exams. Now, I think working with 600 germy little kids does nothing to help.

shopping list for next year:
mega-strength zinc tablets
case of echinacea tea
grapefruit seed extract
Lysol disinfectant
masseur
subscription to club with steam saunas
12/19/2001 12:21:51 PM  



snackengrooven
I have a witness. When I got my holiday-shaped mini pretzels from the vending machine just now, the little display started talking to me in German.
12/18/2001 11:57:57 AM  



browbeaten (or, I really do have a bad cold, and the fever has taken over my brain)
"I'm bored," whined the eyebrow hair, sullenly. "And it's too crowded here."

"So whattya gonna do about it?" asked a neighboring and much shorter fiber, in a rather annoying high-pitched voice.

"Dunno."

"I know, we could play Pictionary!" squealed Shorty.

"Get your head out of your follicle, for cripes sake!" sneered Longy. "I want to really do something."

"Well, I don't know," sniffed Shorty. A prolonged and uncomfortable silence followed.

"What's say we... you know. Make the jump."

"Wha-wha-what?!? But... I'm not ready to die yet!"

"Then don't come, you pansy. I've had a good long life, weeks longer than most of youse guys. I'm not gonna sit here and wait around for the tweezers. Besides, I've been itching to get back at this broad we're living on. I hate that damn face powder she uses."

"You mean -"

"Yup," interrupted Longy. "Straight for the eye. Go out in a blaze of bloodshot glory. She's got the contacts in. You with me, or not?"

Shorty pondered for a few moments. "Well... I suppose if you're going to go..."

"On the count of three, then. One... Two... THREE!!!"

"AIEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

"OW! What the hell is in my eye?"
12/18/2001 06:19:50 AM  



status
My cards are finished and out. My baking is 95% finis. Shopping is nearly there. We (finally) get to pick up my ring tonight. The tree is up, lit, and decorated. My throat is very sore. The patio is almost a contender for the property Contest ($100 is on the line, wouldn't pass that up). The Santa-Grams my kids are selling as a fundraiser are a mini-sensation; our little bash is on Thursday after school (for which I will be supplying piles of Krispy Kreme). Our spiral baked half-ham hasn't been ordered, and I have no idea what else I'm going to cook, so there's that shopping to be done. I know there'll be wine.

Friday is a half-day. And there are only four more days until break.
12/17/2001 02:23:24 PM  



better
At least we're getting speeds we don't mind paying for again...
12/17/2001 08:06:57 AM  



for lack of substance
Foods which I refused as a kid, but enjoy with reckless abandon now:

Broccoli
Chili/sloppy joe
Mushrooms
Wheat breads
My mom's turkey stuffing
Salmon
Vodka

Vice-versa:

Milk
Chicken nuggets
School paste

Ain't never gonna happen:

Liver
Cauliflower
Brussels sprouts
Beets
My mom's Lemony Vegetable Jello Salad
Spam/potted meat products
McFish

12/15/2001 12:05:52 PM  



napping like the dead
So it's one thirty in the a.m., and I'm awake. No, not still awake.

At around five, I felt drowsy, so I thought I'd hop into bed for a little nap.

Some nap. I just woke up an hour ago. Seven-and-a-half hours - that's a normal night's sleep for me. This is going to throw me off track for days...

Now I don't quite know what to do with myself. D. has gone off to bed, but I don't think I can sleep now. Maybe I'll go eat some grits and check out Nick at Nite.
12/15/2001 01:30:42 AM  



time once again for
Friday Five
1. What did you want to be when you grew up? Jane Goodall

2. Do you have any nicknames? not really, just Jen

3. If you could change something about yourself what would it be? I'll cheat and give you two: I want someone else's sinuses, and a heaping helping of assertiveness

4. Have you ever bought anything from an infomercial? Nope! Though a couple of years ago we bought those microwave egg cookers at the "As Seen on TV" store

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend? Finishing Christmas stuff (including tree-raising and patio decorating). Really.
12/14/2001 12:13:07 PM  



simmering
My plans for a new design haven't been forgotten, just... moved to the back burner. I'm not entirely happy with the new layout I've devised, and I've been waiting for inspiration to strike. Design doesn't come particularly easily for me, it's not what I do, unlike so many of you all out there. The picky little disparities amongst operating systems and browsers frustrate me, sometimes nearly to the point of tears (D. will vouch for this). It's just like calculus all over again - I could never accept the fact that, sometimes, I just didn't grasp the concept, and that I would simply have to ask for help, so I'd instead sit there staring at the same problem until my head was swimming and I was ready to kill the first interruption. I hatehateHATE IT when I know exactly what I want my page to look like, but feel forced to compromise for the sake of a particular browser's bitchy little quirks.

I've also been thinking, for quite some time now, of starting up a YA book review site. I read a lot of kiddie lit every month. Piles of it. Seems a shame not to share the wealth a bit. I'll have to poke around a bit more seriously, see what's already out there.

Maybe when all this holiday brouha blows over...
12/13/2001 04:14:55 PM  



theater cheater
I've got a dirty little secret.

I have big pockets in my winter coat. So does my accomplice. And when we go to the movies, sometimes we harbor illegal immigrants.

Like Jordan almonds, Twizzlers, and Pocky.

I mean, really. When two sodee pops and boxes of candy cost more than the price of admission, something's wrong. And we're at the movies almost every weekend (did you see Ocean's Eleven? Good, no?).

Besides. They don't sell Pocky at theaters.

Last weekend, we found out that Walgreen's is open 24 hours (read: our new dealer). Who knew?

Do you ever cheat at the movies?
12/12/2001 07:01:08 PM  



stop. just stop.
Everywhere I go, there's bickering and yelling and fighting. Even with the recent happy events in my personal life, I'm struggling to stay afloat today. Working with kids, you can't get emotional, angry. You have to stay positive. To say the least, that can be difficult. Which is one reason I'm having such a hard time accomplishing anything I need to at home. Most of the time, I'm too damn exhausted.

There were so many almost-fights at lunch, I thought I'd need to have one of the security guards camp out. Meaningless "she pushed me!" or "he took my book!" or "they were calling me a racist!" stuff. You know - the usual. Just hyped up to nearly unbearable extremes, a sea of fists ready to strike and looks full of pure hatred and words I never even considered using at that age.

I held an after-school activity meeting, as I normally do on Tuesdays. The kids were nothing but vicious and horrid to each other, to their ideas. Even though we were planning festive events - our holiday party and New Year's dance. I tried to remind them what the time of year represented, that no matter if you're celebrating Christmas, or Ramadan, or Hanukkah, the general idea is peace. As seventh and eighth graders, and among the most intelligent at that, they're old enough to get it.

But they don't.

I won't even describe the snarfing happening on one of my more prominent mailing lists. Which is supposed to be all about charity. I'm nearly ready to extricate myself and not look back.

It may sound corny, but I often find myself thinking "Can't we all just get along?"

Okay, I promise, that's it. No more negativity here this month :-)
12/11/2001 04:31:13 PM  



ruling the book world with an iron paw
Meet Fup, top cat at Powell's.
12/11/2001 05:57:15 AM  



taking my toys and going home
I don't think I want to play with the folks over at nervousness anymore. My Fashion Fever project went out in August, and it never made it past the first person (who won't reply to emails). And I signed up for two other projects long ago, but...

It sucks.

Guess I'll just wait for the next round of 20things. Again.
12/10/2001 02:40:15 PM  



almost instant architecture
Build lots of neat paper models of structures and such at Papertoys.com (via mybluehouse).
12/10/2001 12:33:52 PM  



working like an elf
Why, oh why? did I decide to make the majority of my gifts by hand this year? The eleventh hour for cross-country shipping in time for Christmas is drawing perilously near, and I've barely made a dent in my projects. My handmade cards are 75% finished. Any baked goods to be sent USPS have gone, and the majority of the party baking and partying is done, but there are still baked gifts for the "locals" to consider. My cross-stitch and mini-quilt gift projects are untouched (aside from a fairly decent graphed layout rendered in colored pencil), but at least I've received the nice wooden baskets to put them in, and the antique wire-bail quart jars for brownies-in-a-jar (for which I still haven't gathered all the ingredients). Gifts for D. and my sister are a complete mystery, as there's nothing I can really make them at this point that they'd like, and neither keeps nice wish lists like the rest of us do. And - God help me - I'm even making hand-stamped kraft wrapping paper and tags this year.

And the tree. [sigh]

When did the holidays become so much ... work? :-)
12/10/2001 10:10:01 AM  



playing the waiting game
Yes, indeed. I'll vouch for the fact that our new AT&T cable service is slower than sludge...
12/9/2001 11:52:32 AM  



got snow?
No? Miss it? Here's some virtual stuff, from my archives. An early Xmas gift from me to you.
12/8/2001 06:17:42 PM  



ship it good
For the record, the folks at the Citrus Heights Post Office are some of the nicest in a town of generally pleasant people. I've been there to ship packages more times than I can count, but I can't recall one single trip in which I wasn't greeted with courtesy and friendliness. Even when the lines wrapped out into the lobby. I really, really appreciate that.
12/8/2001 12:37:03 PM  



love those fridays!
Friday Five
1. If you were to go to a movie this weekend, which one would you pick? Ocean's Eleven. Yeah, baby.

2. What movie would you like to rent his weekend? Legally Blonde, Shrek.

3. What one TV show do you always try to watch? One? Nope. X-Files (sigh), Friends, and 24.

4. If you (and your S.O.) were cool with it, what five celebrities (at the most) would it be 'ok' for you to have a fling with? Guess I shouldn't be saying this mere hours after becoming betrothed. But - John Cusack, David Duchovny, Johnny Depp, Denzel Washington, Noah Wylie.

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend? Staring at my hand, baking, Christmas partying, in line at the Post Office, and gearing up for The Tree.

12/6/2001 09:49:16 PM  



the day
Two things of note happened today. The first, I think, should be obvious - we're back!!! Slower than molasses, but here we are. We may be shut down for a brief time if (looking more likely when) we switch over to DSL.

The second is just a bit more momentous, and definitely more surprising:



Better pictures later, with a real camera, I think. It's from the 30's, and is absolutely perfect :-)

I was asked under a live Christmas pine, next to a train, in Old Folsom:



:-)


12/6/2001 08:30:02 PM